How about a thread where we help each other with our jokes? Maybe you have a new joke you want to try out first? Or maybe you need help editing an existing joke? Just post it here.
(This thread could be for longer bits, topical stuff and one-liners go here)
I'll start...
I find this funny and I'm thinking of trying it on stage tomorrow night, but everyone I've tested it on is either angry or confused. With your permission I can bury this...
Lame?That actress, Brittany Murphy, died a few weeks ago, and everyone's Facebook statuses said, "RIP Brittany Murphy". And everytime someone posted "RIP Brittany Murphy", a bunch of people "Liked" the post.
So I wrote a comment on one of them, I said, "Yeah! I totally agree with everyone! Fuck that bitch, she sucked as an actress!" ...but that's not what everyone meant when they "Liked" the post.
The 2nd part is pointless and only serves to make you less sympathetic. I think it would help to switch off of Brittany Murphy as quickly as possible.
Something like, "...everytime someone posted "RIP Brittany Murphy", a bunch of people "Liked" the post. Could you imagine doing this in real life? 'My father died recently. I just hope he's found peace'. 'HEY!! THUMBS UP!!! I LIKE WHAT YOU SAID!!'.
This makes it more of a hypothetical, 'what if people were assholes' scenario, instead of the 'I actually was an asshole' scenario that existed before.
"Even gutter hags trump pretty boys." - BabyCakes
Would changing it to Michael Jackson help? I'm not at all trying to be mean here.Originally Posted by scamboogah
Yeah I guess people will get the observation: Whenever someone dies, every idiot writes, "RIP Joe Shmoe". Then people agree with the post, so they "Like" it. And I keep thinking, "Do they LIKE that he's dead?"
Most of my jokes are kinda ridiculous nonsense, so I'd place this bit in the middle of the set so the audience "understands" my nonsense-im-an-idiot schtick. But I dunno, I think this one is gonna bomb and worse, turn the audience against me.
I think it's a really good observation actually; like we really are just programmed to go along with something if others are doing it and we don't think about what it actually means. That said, Scammy's probably along the lines I would be on this joke. Just turn it off of Brittany Murphy/Whatever Dead Celeb you want and onto a real-world hypothetical situation as quickly as possible, just so you don't harp on whichever celeb it was (which to me isn't the "point" of the joke anyway) and appear to just have it in for them.
It does sound like the joke is going to be in the recontextualization of the facebook behavior in real life. . . which is a concept you could mine pretty deep beyond the "Liking a RIP" . . .
Well, maybe not. I mean, the hope is that if people are going out to see comedy live that they'll be open minded enough to know that if you say something and it happens to involve a dead celebrity that you're not a douchebag...but yeah, it's just best to use the setup as just that: setup. My point was that your overall intent behind the joke is quite intelligent if structured right, so spend as much time as you can driving the theme of the joke home, yeah?
No.
I don't think this joke (or at least the idea behind it) is 'ridiculous nonsense' at all. Not to suck too much of the fun out of it, but this is pure observational humor, basically pointing out that a feature with the name of an emotion (like) is being used by most people the same way they would use 'uh-huh' or 'I agree'.
What makes you unsympathetic in the original version is that you're acknowledging that this confusing semantic situation exists, but then going on to document how you pointed it out to people while they were mourning someone's death by being petty and sarcastic.
To remove even more of the risk, you could also eliminate the celebrity's name altogether, and just go with, "Whenever a celebrity dies..."
"Even gutter hags trump pretty boys." - BabyCakes
That's an awesome idea. Something like...
Whenever some famous person dies, everyone's Facebook statuses say, "RIP Whomever". And each time someone posts "RIP Whomever", a bunch of people will "Like" the post.
So I wrote a comment on one post, I said, "Yeah! I totally agree with everyone! I like that he's dead too! Fuck that guy!" ...but that's not what everyone meant when they "Like" a post.
I saw something on youtube that made me think of a joke that falls into a similar line of thinking. There was a youtube video of Michelle Obama urging people to donate to Haiti that recieved a rating of 3 out of 5 stars. Theres two things going on there, Michelle Obama and Haiti. I can't imagine Haiti recieving less than 5 stars so i guess to average out to 3 stars Michelle Obama's speaking ability must be coming in around a .5 out of 5. It seems like theres a lot of "Hate - i" out there for the first lady.
I'm not a standing up comedian, nor would I suggest using a horrible pun like that on stage but feel free to work something about that in.
First, I like including Brittany Murphy's name, because it provides the illusion of topicality. Any time a new celebrity dies, it's like it's a brand new joke!
Second, I think you can do basically the same joke but turn around your final response so that you're not the one saying "Fuck Lucille Ball":
When Brittany Murphy died, I found out about it on Facebook because a friend of mine posted "RIP Brittany Murphy". And a bunch of people "Liked" the post.
So I wrote a comment, I said, "You people are horrible! Brittany Murphy was a beloved actress and you're just shitting on her grave! Why would you do that?" ...but it turns out that's not what everyone meant when they "Liked" the post.
This is a friend's joke that he gave to me because it's terrible. I tried it on stage and it bombed like he said it would. Maybe we can fix it.
"I'm the Tiger Woods of minigolf; I fuck midgets." Thoughts?
Last edited by KevinLee; January 26, 2010 at 4:51 PM. Reason: It's CJ Toledano's joke.
Because comedy is all about fooling your stupid, stupid audience. If you can find a way to tell the same joke for the rest of your life and get away with it, you win!
Perfect. Cannot be improved.
"Even gutter hags trump pretty boys." - BabyCakes
Not to brag, but I saw the Michelle Obama Haiti ad as well.
Okay I'm bragging.
Also, try this: don't put what you're trying to say in Joke form. That will come later, when it gets distilled. First, just speak honestly about how you feel about it. Does it really bother you that people liked paying condolences to Brittany Murphy? Or were you just throwing a joke around?
Also, I find it really hard to start from "This is what I want to say, this is the point I'm trying to make, let's make this funny." More often than not it's a creative dead end.
Also, not every joke needs to be work-shopped. Not every joke needs to be told. A lot of jokes are just shit, and belong hidden in that one wordpad document or in that crumpled up napkin in the trash. I write things that I think are brilliant at the time, but when it comes time to choose what's going to happen on stage, I leave them to die because I know they're either ego fear-driven jokes, angry piss-rants, instances where I puppet or imitate someone else's point, stupid jokes, masturbatory jokes, or formless ideas.
Also, I find the process of joke workshopping to be a sign of fear and low confidence in a joke. If it doesn't work, then let it go. You will have thousands of jokes if you keep writing. One isn't important.
This is great advice. When in doubt throw it out.
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