Help us with our jokes

[bridgetosolace]

I have this joke that my actual-comedian friend enjoys. It's race related, and I'm not sure how it comes off to someone who doesn't know me. I'm new at this so I want a second opinion.

-

So it's become part of popular nerd culture to sort of idealize pirates. I asked my friend about it...

HIM (voice): "Yeah, dude, rapin' and pillagin', that shits bad ass."

ME:"...That's not cool...that's why you're scared of black people..."

So if you ever see Al Sharpton..."Parrots and and peg legs. You'll thank me later."

[suavepebble]

I have this joke that my actual-comedian friend enjoys. It's race related, and I'm not sure how it comes off to someone who doesn't know me. I'm new at this so I want a second opinion.

-

So it's become part of popular nerd culture to sort of idealize pirates. I asked my friend about it...

HIM (voice): "Yeah, dude, rapin' and pillagin', that shits bad ass."

ME:"...That's not cool...that's why you're scared of black people..."

So if you ever see Al Sharpton..."Parrots and and peg legs. You'll thank me later."

Don't do it outside of Arkansas

[maxbarth]

Don't do it outside of Arkansas

[Kentock]

I have this joke that my actual-comedian friend enjoys. It's race related, and I'm not sure how it comes off to someone who doesn't know me. I'm new at this so I want a second opinion.

It comes off as racist.

See the recent episode of WTF about hipster racism, I think this is the type of joke they're talking about.

[bridgetosolace]

[accidental repeat post]

[bridgetosolace]

It comes off as racist.

See the recent episode of WTF about hipster racism, I think this is the type of joke they're talking about.

Well, the joke is pointing out one of the weird inconsistencies about nerdy white kids. They think pirates are cool because they rape and steal, but are awkward and frightened around black people because they're scared of being mugged. Why do they find one cool and not the other? Pointing out racism in others isn't exactly racist.

I mean, I'll accept that it isn't funny to someone else. I wont do it on stage.

It's not racist, though.

[James Smann]

It's clearly not racist. here's how I'd do it...and it's probably not funny.

So it's become part of popular nerd culture to sort of idealize pirates. I asked my friend about it...

HIM (voice): "Yeah, dude, rapin' and pillagin', that shits bad ass."

ME:"Aren't you the guy who moves his wallet into his front pocket at McDonald's when a black guy walks in?"

HIM: "yeah, so?"

ME: "So what if a pirate walked into Mcdonald's?"

HIM: "That'd be bad ass!"

ME: "So the next time a black dude walks into McDonald's why don't you just pretend he's a black pirate?"

HIM: "I don't see what Lastings Milledge has to do with this."

ME: "You're a fucking idiot."

HIM: "Arrrrrrrrr you sure?"

Then I punched him in his cunt.

[Kentock]

Well, the joke is pointing out one of the weird inconsistencies about nerdy white kids. They think pirates are cool because they rape and steal, but are awkward and frightened around black people because they're scared of being mugged. Why do they find one cool and not the other? Pointing out racism in others isn't exactly racist.

I mean, I'll accept that it isn't funny to someone else. I wont do it on stage.

It's not racist, though.

This may be the point you're trying to make, but it's not reflected in the joke. The problem is that you're trying to make 2 points at the same time, but because you're cramming it into such a small space, the logic gets screwed up and it comes off as racist. I'm not peering into your heart, just telling you how the logic of your joke works.

There are 2 inconsistencies:
1. People think pirates are cool even though they do horrible things.
2. People have weird racist opinions about black people.

You're trying to tap into the latter to supplement the humor of the former, but it doesn't work. It just makes both you and the heel of the joke sound like you actually believe that black people have a habit of raping and pillaging.

A more consistent take would be to act as though pirates should be offended by the stereotype of the "raper-pillager." Or something. Although, to be honest, I'd just steer clear of pirates jokes in general. It's a much harder sell in 2010 than it was in 2005.

[scamboogah]

Well, the joke is pointing out one of the weird inconsistencies about nerdy white kids. They think pirates are cool because they rape and steal, but are awkward and frightened around black people because they're scared of being mugged. Why do they find one cool and not the other? Pointing out racism in others isn't exactly racist.

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "Does this premise make a lick of sense?". This does not.

This would be like basing a joke on the premise that it's dumb that most people are more afraid of real tigers than they are of a guy in a dinosaur suit. One is a real thing, and the other is someone dressed up as something that doesn't exist anymore.

[James Smann]

This would be like basing a joke on the premise that it's dumb that most people are more afraid of real tigers than they are of a guy in a dinosaur suit. One is a real thing, and the other is someone dressed up as something that doesn't exist anymore.

What if the guy in the suit was black?

[scamboogah]

(throws down smoke bomb and runs out of the room)

[bridgetosolace]

This may be the point you're trying to make, but it's not reflected in the joke. The problem is that you're trying to make 2 points at the same time, but because you're cramming it into such a small space, the logic gets screwed up and it comes off as racist. I'm not peering into your heart, just telling you how the logic of your joke works.

I do try too hard to shorten jokes. I clearly talk too much off stage, so I overcompensate when I write jokes. There's a leap that I'm making in my head that I'm not conveying properly. Maybe I'll revisit it when I'm more experienced.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[suavepebble]

The best thing about being Dracula is probably that moment when you realize you've shit blood. Usually this would be bad, but if you are dracula it's no big deal... because hey, you are immortal -- plus, you only eat blood. -- Jack Shmanzy

[JuanCarlos]

Dracula can eat pussy 365 days of the year.

[suavepebble]

"I bet there is a Frankenstein behind the mummy's cloths," thought Frankenstein.

[suavepebble]

I bet the creature from the Black Lagoon is the hegemon of that particular ecosystem.

[drbristol]

I thought the Invisible Man using a condom was creepy until I realized how gross it would look if he went commando and then pulled out.

[OGRastamon]

I could use some critique:

And whats going on with these people who clap at the end of a movie? Hey asshole, its not a fucking play! This isn't mama mia or lion king on ice! And if you keep clapping ill shin kick your testicles so godam hard youll think you were watching the nut cracker in 3d!! But seriously folks, it doesn't make sense why people clap at the end of a movie. Think about it, the audience claps to show appreciation to the artist. Like when I'm done telling my jokes, you guys will clap for me! But in a movie, why fucking bother? No one affiliated is in the audience! Michael Bay isn't sitting next to you eating popcorn fingering himself after every gunshot explosion! Stop clapping, its not like a play where we all clap and afterwards the actor walks on stage and takes a bow. You know keanue reeves isn't going to come out [now i do my keanue reeves voice] Thank you thank you, I like pills! keep clapping, we've gone so far!

And at the end of a play, people yell encore. But how come no one does it at a movie? It would be awesome if at the end of paul blart everyone started yelling encore!
Encore, encore, more more more! Then the employee would tell the manager "uh sir, people are goin wild and out in theatre 7 screaming encore for paul blart. Should I just tell them that the next showing is at 9:15 in theatre 5?" To which the manager replies "No you fool! If the people want paul blart, then god damit will give them paul blart!" Then this fantastic display of artistic appreciation would be the talk around the town, to which the news paper headlines would read "paul blart gives speculator encore performance at AMC!"

This might be hilarious if it's meant to mock this thread with a parody of a hack comic. "What's with these people" "But seriously folks" "Think about it"?
If this is indeed a serious cry for help then I would suggest dropping the entire Paul Blart bit. I like the image of Michael Bay fingering himself to explosions but unfortunately the premise is shit because anyone that has applauded at a movie (which as has been noted is most of your audience) knows that it's about a spontaneous appreciation of a shared group experience. If you could work it into another bit it would be great.

[KeithTalent]

Keith - that is fucking brilliant man! Do you mind if I try that next time?

Go for it.


I've got this vague idea that I don't really know how to turn into a bit. Maybe someone can recommend a writing exercise that won't work.

I want to mention how my mom and brother are both really into serial killers, and that (this is true) in my family it's not uncommon to refer to Charles Manson as "Charlie." In the same way frat dudes say "Dave" or black folks say "Luther."

That last sentence is the closest thing to a punchline that I have...and I also worry that people might not get the references but I don't know how to add some explanation while keeping it pithy. I thought about doing a sort of mannered thing..."may refer to the late great Mr. Vandross as simply 'Luther.'"

Anyway I feel like there's something in there that could spawn a few jokes but I dunno

[OGRastamon]

Go for it.


I've got this vague idea that I don't really know how to turn into a bit. Maybe someone can recommend a writing exercise that won't work.

I want to mention how my mom and brother are both really into serial killers, and that (this is true) in my family it's not uncommon to refer to Charles Manson as "Charlie." In the same way frat dudes say "Dave" or black folks say "Luther."

That last sentence is the closest thing to a punchline that I have...and I also worry that people might not get the references but I don't know how to add some explanation while keeping it pithy. I thought about doing a sort of mannered thing..."may refer to the late great Mr. Vandross as simply 'Luther.'"

Anyway I feel like there's something in there that could spawn a few jokes but I dunno

I've met people with favorite serial killers and think it is a ripe subject but you're correct that the references need work. I had to think about both. Does Dave refer to Letterman? Do black people refer to MLK as Luther?

Perhaps you're looking for "the way gay men say 'Babs'" or "or the way pretentious actors say 'the Bard' or "the way Dr. Phil says 'Oprah'".