Writing News Jokes

[mezmorized]

Originally Posted by sharilyn

Doing a Word is damn hard, and apparently the thing that most often gets done incorrectly in packets. The staff writers have to submit a proposal for a Word before it's written, and only about 1 in 8 actually get written.

Yeah, the Word is tough, but fun once you figure out Colbert's take on the issue. And I'm doing a sort of truncated version of it, since they are usually around 4 minutes long, which I think takes some of the frustration out of it. I think as I do it more, I'll naturally make it longer. Eric Drysdale, a former writer, spoke to my class about it and said that Fridays were pretty much dedicated to writing Words.

Well hopefully this Word will top the others. (Probably won't) All feedback is much appreciated.

http://meziszem.blogspot.com/2009/06...june-21st.html

[Pleated Jeans]

your newest one is great. "just rub dirt on it" really had me...

Here's a few monologue jokes:

Yesterday a man set off an explosion in an Arby's bathroom in Delaware, destroying a toilet. When asked what exactly he used to achieve the destruction, he reportedly said, "Two Arby's Big Beef and Cheddars."

Andy Dick helped bring attention to a PETA protest against the slaughtering practices at McDonald's by dressing up as Ronald McDonald and brandishing a knife at patrons as they entered one of the fast food chain's restaurants. When asked for comment, one of the protesters remarked, "Oh he's not with us. He's just high on PCP."

This past week, Pixar helped fulfill a dying girl's final wish by sending an employee to her doorstep with an advanced DVD of Up and a basket full of toys. Not to be outdone, Vivid Video showed up at a boy's house with an advanced DVD of Teen Sluts 12 and a 6-pack of beer.

[Brian J.]

Edwin "Buzz" Aldren has penned his autobiography, in which he opens up about his battle with alcoholism. Now we know why they nicknamed him Buzz.

[Cupid Stunt]

Radio stations are honoring Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett today by playing all of their hit songs.

[mezmorized]

Here's this weeks Colbert Word. Always glad to hear feedback.

http://meziszem.blogspot.com/2009/06...june-28th.html

[suavepebble]

Today, astronomers revealed that "Betelgeuse" is shrinking. What's next -- a trembling mothblood?

420

[RubelT]

According to the Imperial College in London sheep are growing smaller in Scotland due to global warming. lambs that would not have survived harsh winters are now growing up and reproducing due to climate change. As a result the Scottish people now count gazelles to go to sleep at night.

[charles star]

Burning Question: If Sarah Palin does become President, do they chant "3 more years" at her second convention or does she quit 3 years into term one?

It doesn't matter. The only way Sarah Palin can win in 2012 is if Track dies after Obama signs an Executive Order taking away his body armor.

[mezmorized]

Colbert Word for July 5th.

http://meziszem.blogspot.com/2009/07...-july-5th.html

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

The world's oldest known bible was put online today. Scholars say there are many significant differences between this 1600 year-old book and the bible we know today. For example, homosexuality and abortion are hardly mentioned at all.

[justtookadump]

Hey guys, feedback is always appreciated:

Former Bush White House spokesman Tony Snow died this weekend at the age of 53. But there is some bad news: if Christians are wrong, then he is not currently rotting in Hell.

Thanks in advance for your notes.

[suavepebble]

Today, LaToya Jackson announced that her brother Michael Jackson was murdered and that she knows who did it.

"It was Annie. She was okay for a long time, but then she killed him. Also, my dad is the creepiest, most satanic human being alive."

[suavepebble]

I would probably shoot myself in the head if I had to write this sort of formulaic bullshit every day. Seriously, guys... what are we doing here? This feels like math and sadness.

[scamboogah]

Originally Posted by justtookadump

Former Bush White House spokesman Tony Snow died this weekend at the age of 53. But there is some bad news: if Christians are wrong, then he is not currently rotting in Hell.

Thanks in advance for your notes.

You mean aside from the triple double negative that makes it almost impossible to figure out?

[bridgetosolace]

Originally Posted by Scammy Davis Boogah Jr.

You mean aside from the triple double negative that makes it almost impossible to figure out?

Dickishness aside, it's also not particularly clever.

"Lol republicans are bad!" is kind of hackneyed and generic. That could have been anyone and the joke would still "work." It's like yelling "Hey, faggot!" at a gay person in contrast to Louise CK's bit about abnoxious gay people. Just kind of artless.

Unlike the joke above it, which is clever but still a "Gotcha!"

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

Originally Posted by justtookadump

Hey guys, feedback is always appreciated:

Former Bush White House spokesman Tony Snow died this weekend at the age of 53. But there is some bad news: if Christians are wrong, then he is not currently rotting in Hell.

Thanks in advance for your notes.

My main problem is that Tony Snow died on July 12, 2008.

[justtookadump]

Originally Posted by DiscoInferiorityComplex

My main problem is that Tony Snow died on July 12, 2008.

Really? Why did Karl Rove tweet about it today? Weird.

[MJEH]

Originally Posted by suavepebble

Today, LaToya Jackson announced that her brother Michael Jackson was murdered and that she knows who did it.

"It was Annie. She was okay for a long time, but then she killed him. Also, my dad is the creepiest, most satanic human being alive."

I was gonna do a LaToya "they killed my brother" Jackson joke!!!

[suavepebble]

Originally Posted by MJEH

I was gonna do a LaToya "they killed my brother" Jackson joke!!!

2 + 2 = 4. We're both shitheads.

[MJEH]

Originally Posted by suavepebble

We're both shitheads.

I beg to differ, sir. I am a MUCH bigger shithead than anyone here.

"LaToya Jackson accused her brother Michael's entourage of being enablers and murderers. It's ironic that these were also the same people who handled her recording career."