So now I guess he's "livin' la vida homo"???Originally Posted by RubelT
So now I guess he's "livin' la vida homo"???
"Except for MJEH. He is an irredeemable fiend who should be locked up." - Alex Mac
R.I.P. Greg Giraldo 1965-2010
sorry, posted in wrong thread.. moving.
Last edited by JManderville; April 2, 2010 at 11:27 AM.
or DON'T believe me!
well how about that i did the same thing as the guy above me. i have a hard time being less dumber.
Last edited by iambobbymac; April 7, 2010 at 4:58 PM.
Oprah Winfrey announced today that she would be moving her show to a primetime television spot on her new Oprah Winfrey Network. Critics are calling this a strange move citing studies that show that, nearly 85% of Oprah's audience are afraid of people of color after dark.
Russian officials are releasing more information on the tragic subway bombings that rocked Moscow last week. New reports state that the attacks were not carried out by female Chechen terrorists as originally believed, but were actually carried out by Rocky and the cast of Red Dawn. USA! USA! USA!
And finally, the Pope released a statement on the sex abuse scandals today. After apologizing for the Vatican's playing down the claims as "petty gossip", Pope Benedict explained "It happened in the 70's - everyone wasn't so up tight about this and about that. It's wasn't sexually abusing deaf children then, it was having fun with the retards. That's what we called all those kids back then. So I put myself in his shoes, I had a laugh, and I gave him a pass. C'mon think about the Seventies!"
This one was excellent sir.
A friend of mine works for Coors Beer. She told me that the executives and higher ups of the company put a drop of Coors Light on the tongues of their babies right after they are born, because they want the first thing their offspring to experience is the taste of the silver bullet. That’s just awful, and weird! I can’t believe these people can get away with such a vile act of child abuse… It should be Blue Moon.
Sex Pistols founder and manager Malcom Mclaren died today of cancer in a hospital in Switzerland. In a loving tribute, a mournful Johnny Rotten was quoted as saying, "Fuck off!"
thank you. i really appreciate that. ive been working and rewriting that one since the most recent scandal broke. i feel its still worded a bit awkwardly but i guess its getting there. the same day that news dropped, a volunteer firefighter was charged in my hometown with arson, so i came up with this joke.
what do gay priests and fire fighters who commit arson have in common?
they both spend their entire life trying to deny their love of flames.
Malcolm McLaren, manager of the seminal punk rock act the Sex Pistols died yesterday after losing a fight to lung cancer. McLaren, a punk rock pioneer and philosopher had said in the past "be everything that society hates."
Society can confirm that Mclaren stayed true to those words as they were quoted as saying "we hate managers in punk rock."
Today Apple unveiled 7 new features that will be included in their upcoming iPhone 4.0. Critics of Apple are dismissing this new version of the iPhone as "just a smaller freaking version of the iPad."
Bruce Beresford-Redman, producer of the hit television show Survivor, has been the key person of interest in the brutal slaying of his wife Monica. Witnesses at the Cancun resort where the couple were vacationing report that they heard an argument coming from the Beresford-Redman room where Bruce could be heard repeatedly shouting "Monica, you have been voted off the island!"
The other two didn't do it for me; but this was perfectly awesome!
Here's one of my attempts at a news skit. Not really something that could be performed on stage, but any opinions are as always appreciated:
http://woodsinthebear.com/money-missile/
Thanks again! I try to do these everyday on my own just scrolling the HuffPo and through who I follow on twitter.
The first one is kind of targeted for the diy punk crowd and the second one is making fun of the many people calling the ipad an "oversized iphone" they're fun.
Couldn't you have saved 6 pages by just saying, "Missles are so expensive that it would be cheaper to make them out of money."?
Oh, well now that you explain them...
"Even gutter hags trump pretty boys." - BabyCakes
scamboogah,
Yes. I think the hope is that exploring the obvious concept is somewhat amusing, but, you know, that's only the hope.
John Paul Stevens, the Supreme Court's leading liberal judge has announced that he will step down from his seat this summer at the ago of 90. Stevens said his plans for retirement include playing more bridge, more golf, and to reignite his passion for collecting first names.
Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell found himself in hot water this week after receiving criticism for omitting slavery from his proclamation of April as Confederate History Month. When pressed on the issue, Gov. McDonnell had this to say "Fine, we'll include it. But who's going to explain to my children what "lavery-say" is?"
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Polacks everywhere are in mourning this evening....ugh.
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The makers of Snickers candy bars are hopping on the Tea Party bandwagon by sponsoring rallies this week in Nevada, Iowa, and Florida. Scheduled speakers for the events include Sara Palin, Michelle Bachman, and Glen Beck. To commemorate these affairs, the candy makers are creating a special formula of the popular candy bar to hand out to the Tea Party crowd. The limited edition snacks will feature an all-white bar packed with extra nuts.
In other candy news, makers of Big league Chew have announced they're updating and expanding their line of sweets for the baseball season by rolling out Big league Roids.
Last edited by iambobbymac; April 12, 2010 at 8:45 AM.
BREAKING NEWS: Conan O'brien will host a show on TBS, starting supposedly in November. TBS plans on leveraging its current talent pool by creating cross-promotional content. First up: Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Gangly And Awkward Ginger.
Conan O'brien will be hosting a show on TBS starting in Novermber supposedly. When asked for comment on the move Jay Leno said "TBS ? what channel is that so I can Tivo it."
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