Writing News Jokes

[Big Box Of Money]

Lack of additional setup and context also makes it confusing, made worse by the fact the joke only works if you are unaware of the context.

this is confusing.

I think he meant that it could benefit from a brief bit of exposition like "Lindsay Lohan is distraught about being dumped by her gf recently", and then launch into the joke. I didn't realize this has happened - I did a news search on it and spent the better part of the afternoon reading the gossip section of dailymail.co.uk. Thanks dykey British lady!!

[smartbunny]

faaaaaaaaaaart!

Set 'em up, knock 'em down.

[MJEH]

You might want to steer clear of recent tragedy. The phrase 'too soon' exists for a reason. Plus, this is just a clumsily re-worked version of the 'killed more people than Cecil B DeMille' line from Blazing Saddles.

Yes, I remembered this fact the next morning! ("Saddles" reference)
Sorry! I HATE when this happens! I always try to never repeat themes
from other jokes. I am hanging my head in shame.

"Too Soon"?? I think there's a comedy troupe in Chicago that builds
bits on this premise, but I can't remember. And yes, I usually steer
clear of "too soon" stuff too.

"The state of California has called out comic Sinbad for backtaxes of $2.5 million. He said he'd do a concert to re-pay them. Judging by his current popularity, ticket prices will start at $500,000."

[Garrett Gilchrist]

France's anti-doping agency accused Lance Armstrong yesterday of breaking the rules by showering before being tested for drugs. Meanwhile, France's anti-showering agency had no comment.

Good.

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

Freddie Prinze Jr. is expecting expecting his first child later this year. He doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it has the charisma of a sheet of drywall.

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

The co-creator of "Dungeons of Dragons" died from cancer this week at the age of 61. Doctor's actually caught the cancer quite early, but his saving throw was unsuccessful.

[JPSpaulding]

Yeah, so far I say TenJay has won the thread...

Thanks for the kind words. That turkey joke is my favorite so far. I think a lot of people in this thread could write for at least Carson Daly or Chelsea Handler...

[Adult Ed]

A Somali Pirate ship hijacked a ship with 20 Americans on board yesterday. It marks the first time Pirates have won in April since Willie Stargell retired...

On behalf of Pirate fans everywhere, I am offended.

[scamboogah]

Barack Obama has agreed to buy Hybrid cars for Government use. Experts predict his next proposals will involve Whirrled Peas and keeping DC weird...

[forgetiheardthat]

Conservative groups are expressing their disapproval with federal tax policy by sending tea to officials, a tactic they refer to as "teabagging". The move was agreed upon after their plan to cover CNN anchor Rick Sanchez in mud was thwarted.

CSI: Miami star David Caruso's ex-girlfriend is seeking more than $1.2 million and a house she says he promised her. When asked for a comment, Caruso said, "looks like the house folds." He then put on his sunglasses and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

In a recent blog post, Kanye West claimed he was "humbled" by his unflattering portrayal in a recent episode of South Park, and fears people no longer take him seriously. He then parked his unicorn in his garage and continued knitting a platinum cardigan.

[Barmy Man]

CSI: Miami star David Caruso's ex-girlfriend is seeking more than $1.2 million and a house she says he promised her. When asked for a comment, Caruso said, "looks like the house folds." He then put on his sunglasses and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

I know there are a lot of CSI sunglasses jokes, but I loved this one.

[RubelT]

Students at MIT have created robots that can water, harvest and pollinate cherry tomato plants. The discovery happened accidentally after a student put cherry tomato seeds in the robots marijuana seed dispenser.

[JPSpaulding]

I know there are a lot of CSI sunglasses jokes, but I loved this one.

This just gave me the greatest idea, give me a week and I will show you all what I'm talking about...

[aenemaTron]

Something Awful did a whole feature on four panel comic strips with Caruso putting on sunglasses and saying a pun and the Who scream.

[ProfessorShutYoMouth]

In a recent blog post, Kanye West claimed he was "humbled" by his unflattering portrayal in a recent episode of South Park, and fears people no longer take him seriously. He then parked his unicorn in his garage and continued knitting a platinum cardigan.

I know people are tired of unicorn references, but in this joke, it works! Well done!

[DiscoInferiorityComplex]

A Dutch TV show found Osama Bin Laden "Not Guilty" of masterminding the 9/11 attacks.

A. "If the wooden shoes don't fit..."
B. "If found guilty, Bin Laden could have been sentenced one good Dutch Ovening"

[MJEH]

France's anti-doping agency accused Lance Armstrong yesterday of breaking the rules by showering before being tested for drugs. Meanwhile, France's anti-showering agency had no comment.

In a recent blog post, Kanye West claimed he was "humbled" by his unflattering portrayal in a recent episode of South Park, and fears people no longer take him seriously. He then parked his unicorn in his garage and continued knitting a platinum cardigan.

These are funny. (They're both earlier posts from others.)

"In an attempt to satisfy the Malawi judge's residency requirements for adopting, Madonna has decided to build a house there. If this doesn't
work she's just going to buy the entire country."

[RubelT]

Capt. Richard Phillips was freed from Pirates that held him captive in an operation by U.S. Navy Seals. Asked to comment on the ordeal, he said "Now I know what Wendy must've felt like when Peter Pan came to save her."

[MJEH]

"Comedy Central announced it's next 'Roast' would be for comedienne Joan Rivers.
The show will last about 90 minutes or until Rivers' face begins to melt under the studio lights, whichever happens first."

[pixel revolt]

Ryan Seacrest was mauled by a stunt tiger this afternoon while shooting an American Idol segment on location at the LA County Zoo. Zoo officials first described the attack as a "complete shock" as the tiger had been trained to be around actors and cameras, then they paused for a second as they remembered it had also been trained to maul Ryan Seacrest.